i'm still alive but i'm barely breathing
by meltdownmegan
Summary: what if izzie came back but only to see alex get shot
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer i do not own grey's anatomy nor do i own the charter this is my own story about what happened when the shooter came to Seattle grace, and if izzie was there**

It was a cold breezy morning and Izzie Stevens was going back to work after getting out of the hospital. She needed to be away from that place for a while, she left Alex but she still loved him very much. She threw off the covers and went into the bathroom fixed her hair which has fully grown back. She brushed her hair gently as she didn't want it to fall out again. She felt great she took her medication and got into her cloths packed her bag and drove off to work. It would be the first time to be back at work in a few months.

Izzie arrived at Seattle Grace once again and smiled as she was sort of glad to be back. She walked in as her friends were shocked to see her they though she would never be back. She hugged Meredith and all her friends including Alex who seemed to be happy. Her heart started to beat faster as she saw Lexie walk up she knew they were together. She walked to the locker room and put her bag in her locker and got into her scrubs. She shut the locker and went back out to the main lobby.

She stood next to Meredith and Cristina as a rush of people came in. Izzie walked with them as took one of the patients into a room, looked over the man who was bleeding out. "Page Bailey" she said to one of the interns as she needed a little help in here. She started doing CPR on the guy waiting for Bailey to get in the room "he needs surgery stat" she said as she was getting blood all over herself. This is one thing she did not miss from work, People bleeding all over her. She kept doing CPR on the man as bailey and hunt took the guy up to the surgery room.

Walking into the locker room she could feel tension with Alex she took off her scrubs and changed into a new pair. She didn't say anything to Alex all she did was smile and walk out. Izzie walked to the Elevator and saw a guy who looked a little curious to her. He asked her where Doctor Shepard's office was. She looked at him with a smile and pointed the way as they reached the floor he was supposed to be on. Izzie got off the elevator and Saw Lexie and Sloan. izzie was soon told that they were on lock down she got the courage to walk up to them "do you know what's going on?" she said "I don't know" said Lexie when she heard a gunshot. Izzie automatically dropped to the floor. She stumbled upon her feet and looked around. She ran to the elevator, and saw Alex "oh my gosh Alex!" she said as she just stared down at him.

As Izzie just stared down at him she didn't know what to do, or what to say, she pushed herself out of the way. She put her hands over her mouth as she was in complete shock. She needed to be there for Alex as he was there for her. "izzie, Izzie" yelled mark and lexie as she came back into reality "yeah I'm here" she said as she looked around and noticed they were already on a different floor. "Help me lift him" mark said as izzie nodded slowly picking up Alex. She closed her eyes for a split moment as she couldn't believe this was happening.

They reached a room cleared if off and put him on the table. Izzie looked at Lexie who was in hysterics "hes going to be fine" she said to her putting a shoulder on her "no he is not you left him and he is still hurting what makes you think he will be okay now" Izzie stopped dead it was true she did leave him but she was not all there. "I know" she said as she looked at Alex as she felt herself start to cry. She ran to his side 'I'm so sorry Alex" she whispered to him. Izzie took a hold of his hand and the other through his hand as she looked at lexie. "Your perfect to him" she said to her. "Take care of him, I have to see if anyone else needs help" Izzie said as she sniffed got up and looked at both mark and lexie. She could tell they both wanted her to stay but knew she would have gone anyways.

Taking a huge breath she entered the halls of the now armed hospital, she looked around and slowly kept walking looking out for herself. She heard footsteps approach near her as she went into a room and shut the door, she held the door back, with her body and closed her eyes, she felt more tears fall as she has not been this scared before, she heard the footsteps get closer to her as she started to panic she felt her door open as she back away trying to find something to defend herself with. She opened her eyes and saw lexie come in, she screamed and covered her mouth running towards her. "lexie don't do that again" she said as she looked at her. "I need that" she said as she pointed to what izzie was leaning on "oh okay lets go" she said as she helped lexie with the cart. She kept a look out not seeing anyone "go go" she said in a whisper until someone noticed lexie. Izzie's eyes grew large as she looked at the man who had a gun in his hand; Izzie walked to lexie and looked at the man putting her hands up. She closed her eyes praying that they were not next. She looked at lexie as she was pleading and talking to him.

She opened her eyes seeing the sway team near them, she ducked down pulling lexie with her she grabbed the cart and ran off to where Alex was. She opened the door and shut it behind them locking it "I I couldn't get away" she said to mark as she took a deep breath "the guy is on the floor, lexie just saved us" she said as she looked at lexie giving her a small smile telling her she was thankful. Izzie almost died once she didn't want it to happen to her again or for anyone for that matter. She let Lexie and Mark finish up with Alex, she looked at him as she felt her heart break a little she should not have left him, and she should have stayed with him. By she was glad he found someone new someone who made him happy.

What felt like an eternity, someone finally came in and said it was clear for him to get help; Izzie crossed her arms and stayed close behind mark. She walked out of the hospital and was greeted by her friends, when Meredith told her Derek was shot she hugged her "I'm sorry" she said as Derek saved her life. She looked up at the sky "please don't let him die, don't let Alex die, I can't lose anyone else" she said up to god as she lost her best friend George who was a hero to her. She watched as Alex was off to the hospital, she held onto herself as she let out a sigh. She knew no one would be alright after this; no one will go back to normal. One izzie's first day back a tragedy had struck.


	2. Chapter 2

Days have passed since the shooting at Seattle grace, Izzie has been thinking a lot about what had happened and though it would be time to visit Alex. She got the courage to get out of bed get dressed and head out the door, she got in the car and drove off to the hospital he was staying at, she sat in the car for a few minutes before walking in. "hey Mark" she said as she didn't want to ask why he was there. She walked down the hall to the room Alex was in seeing lexie "oh sorry I can come back later" she said as lexie stood up "no I was about to leave" lexie said to her as izzie walked in "hey Alex" she said in a soft tone looking down at him. "you came back izzie" he said "yeah I did" she smiled at him putting her hand through his hair "how did you find me" he said to her. Izzie raised a brow "I was there Alex through the whole thing I was there" she said taking a hold of his hand as he started to cry. "I'm sorry Alex" she said as she was caught of guard from his hug.

Izzie closed her eyes trying not to picture everything that had happened to them in the past all the hurt both of them went through "it's okay Alex I'm here" she said as her voice had cracked. She found herself soon crying. She sat in his bed hugging him back "I'm sorry for leaving you" she said as she blamed him for getting her fired the first time "It was not your fault" she said as they both sat there holding onto each other for comfort. Izzie felt safe in his arms, but at the same time it felt wrong, they weren't together anymore he was with Lexie and she respected that.

"I'll see you later okay?" she said kissing his forehead walking out the door looking at lexie "thanks" she said to her with a smile and watched them real quickly through the window before walking away the feelings were still there but she can finally go on with her life knowing Alex would still be there for her as friends.


End file.
